If there were an award for being completely clueless in new-gen topics, I’d have a shelf full of trophies by now.

I’ve truly mastered the art of asking the “wrong” questions. Like, “Is Pokémon still a thing?” Or, “Wait, Messi and Ronaldo play different positions?”, “Why it is not OK for Trent Alexander-Arnold to change Liverpool? “The horror on my kids’ faces is priceless, equal parts disbelief, pity, and the faintest flicker of concern for my intellectual well-being.

Apparently, knowing that Pikachu is not a yellow cat is basic knowledge. And don’t get me started on the card game. My kid trades them like a Wall Street broker. I innocently asked, “Is this card valuable?” and was told, “MOM, that’s a full-art, ultra-rare VMAX. It’s worth more than any of your golden chains.” Cool. No offense, but I thought it was just cardboard with shiny ink.

And don’t even get me started on IPL. “Mom, how can you not know who went for 18 crores?” Well dear, I just found out there’s a team called “Gujarat Titans.” So maybe give me a minute?

But I wear my newbie badge with pride. I’m not just out of the loop; I am the loop. I’m the case study your child references when explaining what “not to say during a match.”

The best part? My questions are now part of family folklore. I’ve been turned into memes. My mispronunciations are quoted at the dinner table. I’m a legend not in the game, but for missing the game entirely.

And still, here I am! Watching, listening, learning (sort of), and annoying my kids just enough to keep the bond alive.

So yes, I am the reigning champion of being out of touch. But trust me, it takes years of parenting, selective attention, and confident ignorance to reach this level of newbie excellence 😉